Discrimination ;p

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York.
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over andsays: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"

The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "

Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave Americansaves life of little girl' "
- the policeman answers.

"But I am not an American!" - says the man. "Oh, what are you then? "

The man says: - "I am a Pakistani!"



The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog."

Do not lie too much!!

An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the heavenGate Siva the God said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'lllike it here

."Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. Therewere grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in everycorner.It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.

Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, "God Siva, what's thedeal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?"

God Siva replied,"The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for eachperson.Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute."

"For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If youwatch it closely, it will move.

"Click."

The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute.

"Click." Itmoved another minute.

"Aru must be into closing a customer rightnow," said God Siva.

"The minute hand on his clock moves all day."

The man and God Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a clockwith cobwebs on the minute hand.

"Whose clock is this?" asked the man

"That clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest,God-fearing, people on earth. I bet her clock hasn't moved in a yearor two."

They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watchingthe clocks of all his friends.

When the tour was finished, the mansaid,
"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr.Samy Vellu's. Where is hisclock?

God Siva smiled,

"Just look up. We use his clock to work as ceiling fan."

My Japanese Name

My japanese name is 秋本 Akimoto (autumn book) 拓海 Takumi (open sea).
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Why students fail in Exams?!?!

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLYhas 365' days !!!

Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.. Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)-means 30days.Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.

8.Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.

9.For sickness- at least 3 days.Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.1 day left.

11.That 1 day is your birthday. How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!! Balance = 0

"How can a student pass ?!?!?!!?!"

it's damn true isnt it? dear parents, pls consider about it..:P

by Jie How ( duno got it from where ..4got adi lol but i save it in my com laz time hehe ~xP)

Letter of Complaints

Excerpts from actual Letters Of Complaint to the local council :
"Dear sir,....."

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
3. Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my fence.
4. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
5. The lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
6. I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the wall.
7. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
8. I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
9. Can you please tell me when the repairs will be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother.
10. I am still having trouble with smoke in my built-in drawers.
11. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
12. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
13. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now it is in three pieces.
14. Would you please send a man to repair my sprout? I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so will you please send someone around to do something about it.
18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy the wife.
20. I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but still have no satisfaction.
21. We are getting married in September and would like it in the garden before we move into the house.
22. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2.
23. In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
24. I want my sick pay quick. I have been under my current doctor for a week and he is doing me no good. If things don't improve I shall get another doctor.
25. Milk is wanted for my baby and the father is unable to supply it.
26. This is to let you know there is an awful smell coming from the man next door.
27. I am very annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a lie as I married his father a week before he was born.
28. Re: your inquiry. The teeth on top are alright but those in my bottom are hurting dreadfully.
29. You have changed my little boy into a little girl. Will this matter?
30. Sir, I am forwarding my marriage certificate and two children, one of which you will see is a mistake.

Teacher and student

TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BALGOBIN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
BALGOBIN: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I".
BALGOBIN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."
BALGOBIN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
BALGOBIN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

BALGOBIN: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER: No. Why do you ask that?
BALGOBIN: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

TEACHER: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?
BALGOBIN: Brotherly love?

TEACHER: Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
BALGOBIN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BALGOBIN: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
BALGOBIN: A teacher

Some things you just cant explain

A farmer was sitting in a bar getting drunk.

A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here, on this beautiful day, getting drunk?"
The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened that's so horrible?", the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
"Well," the farmer said, "Today, I was sitting by my cow, milking her.

Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."
"Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad."
"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on her left.

Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."
The man laughed, "Again?"
The farmer nodded, and replied, "Some things you just can't explain.

I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.
Well I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail. Some things you just can't explain."
"So, what did you do?"
"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
At that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in...Some things you just can't explain."

Insanity = Mirth

Insanity brings mirth into our lives. Sometimes we do look crazee and phunky, and there's where the word "MIRTH" come from! Mirth means laughter, merriment. Ok here goes my school's insanity. How? I couldnt describe it in words...so...let me show you some pics again! ^^" swt rite? ~~" haha

thx for visiting my blog and hope i would enrich u guyz with perfect amusements. Enjoy the pics! =)


we are the scout gang~: as insane as usual :~ xD



hey tseng sern u r sick! lol [ he's one of the horniest. Small but horny. careful man ]



a bunch of posers....[ i'm struggling right at the end ]



my timing is way too good! i took pic juz as Shao jun yawned.....wakakak~



wow look at my hair...the Twirling Spiky hair...hmm....[ gals interested? ~xD ]

IN CLASS....


MR POTATO! haha rumah ungu has this mask [ do not ask my why we haf it..~~" ]



MR POTATO II - wong jie chao



"WTF???"- ci long [ ragh~~~~~]



"hey gals, Mr Gold fish( cantonese ) is here " [ ar dun whack me ar wai leong =P ]



"how to wear one woh...." - esther wong [ duno how to wear dun wear la :P ]



" SURPRISE!!!!!!!!! " - toh yuen [ i guess the mask suits him the Most..xD ]



" where's my gun? " - Victor Sin yew jian [ u really look like a weird-looking gangsta lol ]



" pure stupidity>< paiseh la " - Bu kai feng da abu [ i guess the word " stupidity " comes from you? :P jkjk ]



" hey all gals, i'm handsome, am i not? " - Yap xian long [ my sis said dat u r da funniest ~xD ]



"woi fazter la....nyek nyek nyek" - Luke Lim ming yuan [ dun act cute la LUKE ]



ci long n esther [ real couple? lol :P shhhh~ ]



even sze ming is obsessed wif MR POTATO? ~~"



the couple - kevin ng & ong pei sun.... [ can u guyz spot the LARGEST light bulb ever? ]



me n esther... [ me yeng lerh....nyek nyek nyek~~ :P ]


THATS ALL!!!!!??!?! haha hope u guyz lurve it...there's more !! so....dun go away~ ROCK ON

Dominating Domino's

Haha...today Ruey wen, jolene n ky promised me to belanja me eat eat coz i helped them in Add maths project.~ haha I'm so glad that they really mark their words=) dis is call real heng dai haha! Ok...so wad did we do in the Domino's pizza res? Hm...we DOMINATED the whole restaurant...of?!?! of being lame...being CRAZEE...being PHUNKY...and lotsa stufF!! haha it's indeed a great day to end our semestar in school.
Oh ya.....Ruey wen, Jo, Eling, ky,zheng de and sze ming sang to me a Song...."wishing u a happy holiday" ( in chinese - singing using Happy bday's ryhthm ) lame aight...xD but at least to cherish b4 we left our school haha=)

ok...finish my wordings....and.....wads next? PHOTOS! i know u guyz r hungry for it haha=) so.......ENJOY!!!


me and Sze ming.....we feeding each other drinks and food?~xD


yo Sze ming the Mother! damn big sized..xD


yo sze ming...wad r u doing? lol actually i wanted to take a whole view of the restaurant yet, u post over there.><
from left : Joanne(dun spelling) Ruey Wen Eling Jolene
[ oh ya can u spot the "calafe" at the bacl? pssst~>.....]


hey dis pic is nice isnt it? i'm the one taking the camera down there...skillful ler?=)

ok our usual mind...GETTING LAME~~! our bunch of shoes? [ wads so nice bout it anyway?~xD ]

dis time upgrade abit d....post wif hands hhe=3


now we are facing the ceiling...photoshoot our hands??~ hmm.....no idea:P


3 person added into pic...up from left : zheng de ME Kwan yew


examine Jolene...hmmm his face is exactly to dis emot -- >.<" haha
hey MING YUAN ? do u know how to take a group photo? why zoom it and take a pic of me oni?? not fair to the others oni ya know.. [ i know i leng chai haha ]


Hey bro Jie how...where's my pizza??? i had not enough of it [ notice the background ]


take pic again....lol guess we are PHOTO FREAK!?!?!? ~~"

Idle

I gotta leave this blog to be idle for a few days. Well, 1stly, i dont have much time to on9 and 2ndly, i'm kinda lazy as well:P haha i gotta rush my add maths project as well!~><"

Ok..for those who read my blog often....I really wanna apologize....Just after i've done everything...I WILL BE BACK HERE BLOGGING AGAIN! =) so......Dont wave goodbye to my blog yet! i promise u guyz to haf interesting and hilarious topic!! ok? deal!

so...sry again...and..thx^^!~